Turning 40

Its my 40th birthday today. In many ways, 40 is old.

For most of my adult life, my self image has been of this 15-year old me. The young, smart-ass kid who is full of confidence and has a strong opinion about almost everything. I am sure its not always been an advantage but it seems to have worked out fine.

But it started to change in the past couple of years. I’ve got two young boys now in whom I can see the shades of the same super-confidence and strong opinions.  I’m starting to notice the bald spot on my head, losing weight is hard and I see a different person in the pictures others take of me. All of  which reminds me of the growing number of revolutions around the sun.

My self image is changing. Instead of confidence; I go for comfortable. I feel no need to impress or express at every ocassion. I act less like the 15-year old punk and more like a man who has been around the block a few times.

Other then that, I don’t feel aged — I am as curious about the world as I was when I was 15.  I enjoyed using typewriters and now I love using Siri. I enjoyed my first car that required manual gear changing and I look forward to my next car that will quite possibly drive itself.

These are interesting times we live in. Its fascinating how much the civilization has changed in the last 40 years and I look forward to the next 40 years bringing even more change.

Here is a toast to staying curious for another 40 years. Cheers !!

Why dads matter?

It takes more than an egg and a sperm to build a human being. Today is father’s day and  I want to talk about what dad’s do and how do we shape our children.

As a young child: Dads can show how to break the consistency of the child care. Many moms either stay all day with their kids or even when they work; their maternal instinct wants to keep the child “safe”.  Fathers, often,  breaks the flow. They bring some excitement and adventure and fun in a young child’s life. Children look forward to this fun. There is some evidence that these early memories can encode sense of adult adventure and well-being. Even WSJ recommends to  play rough with your kids .

For daughters: Dads sets the first and perhaps foundational experience for a young girl of how men love. A dad who always loves his daughter sets the precedent that love is not conditional and allows her to choose a similar partner. Girls, when they grow up, often yearn for same kind of love that they saw from their dads.

For sons: Dads sets the foundational example for  young men on how to handle their masculinity as it emerges in their teenage years. A strong and caring dad can show how to handle the feelings of independence and aggression that every young male feels  and how to channel them constructively into competence, commandership and class (the three pillars of being a real man)

So, here is to our dads and our sons. And to the entire male gender.

Happy Father’s Day.